Life Story

Sandra Gardner was born November 7th, 1955 at Williams Air Force Base which is now Williams Gateway Airport in Mesa, Arizona. She was the first child born to Fenton and Shirley Gardner.

Her first memory was looking down the edge of the crib at her baby sister Debbie. Sandra lived in Maryvale until she was 9. When it would rain she would ride her bike and lift her feet up in the puddles. She said she knew all the kids in her neighborhood and would get all of them to make up a play, then they would make Kool-aid and the parents would come and they would put a play on. She also used to babysit her brothers and sisters and she would ask them to give her a word, any word, and she would make up a story to go with it.

When Sandra was 9 years old they moved into a trailer. There she wanted a pet, very badly. Since her mom wouldn't let her have one she caught spiders and kept them in her room. On the way home from school she would collect ants to feed them. She got very excited because it started to look like they were laying eggs. One day she came home from school and opened the door to the room and said "Whooaaa!" All the eggs had hatched and the baby spiders had spun little webs, the whole room looked like London fog. Sandra's mom was furious!

When Sandra was 14 years old the family moved into a new house on Kino Drive in Mesa and she attended 9th grade at Kino Junior High. Her dad taught art there, and everyone thought that he was a wonderful artist and that Sandra should be one as well. So she started learning how to draw snoopy so when the kids asked her to draw something she could do it.

During this time Sandra was very unhappy about how badly she played sports. For basketball she practiced for hours until she could shoot a basket from anywhere on the court, but she still couldn't play on the court with the team. So she decided to try tennis. During the summer after 9th grade she took a city run summer class for tennis and her parents bought her a racket. At the end of the course they had a tournament and she lost to a 9 year old girl who could barely hold a racket! So after that she practiced playing tennis from when the sun came up until it went down. Eventually she would get good enough that she could have been on the senior high school tennis team, but her legs started giving out from playing on the hard concrete.

The next year Sandra began attending Westwood High School as a Sophomore. She became very active in in high school. Here is a list of some of the things she did:

  • Joined Spirit Club, which means she painted everyone's faces on game day and screamed until she lost her voice.
  • Assigned to do the bulletin boards in seminary. Using chalk she had three rooms with four bulletin boards in each that she changed every month.
  • Called in her ward to be the ward artist.
  • Voted president of the high school's girls athletic association.
  • Played on the archery team. Not because she was good at achery but because her friend Lenae asked her to come out to tryouts with her and everyone who came to tryouts was on the team. Although she didn't have enough strength to shoot 50 yards with her bow, in her junior year she did place 13th in the state among 50 girls.
  • Member of the Spanish Club.
  • Graduated from seminary and received award for most outstanding graduate. Stake presidency gave her a book, "Women in the Priesthood."
  • Learned Sign Language with her friend Lenae. One time she pretended to be deaf at Lenae's aunt's store, and Lenae's aunt asked Lenae all about what it was like for Sandra to be deaf!

Sandra was not always a model student! She told a story in high school how she would go early and ride the bus so she could play tennis. She would need to change in the lockers and if they didn't come fast enough she would kick the door! Lenae said she shouldn't do that but Sandra did it anyways and the teacher came out very angry!

Sandra at MCC

After graduating high school Sandra enrolled at Mesa Community College. She took 18 hours of course work, including Spanish, German, French, and two institute classes. She would ride her one-speed bike and eventually could go from Kino to MCC in only 18 mins! (Google estimates this ride at 33 mins). She was able to carry high GPA. She was also her ward rep for singles and would visit 20 sisters every month on her bike.

In 1975 Sandra married Eric Bunker in the Mesa Arizona Temple. She had met him at institute and single activities. Soon after marrying they moved to Southern Utah. She loved it there! She would walk around town and make friends. Grade school girls would come to her house after school and she would spend time with them and their parents asked her to start a girl scout troop.

Eric and Sandra moved back to Mesa. There Sandra had Nathan, Amos, and Kristin. Those were hard years for Sandra. Her marriage was a huge source of stress. She feared for her and her children's safety because of Eric's unpredictable temper. During this time she had four miscarriages. In 1982, shortly after Kristin was born, Sandra decided to leave her marriage and relocate temporarily to Oregon with her kids for safety.

For a couple months she stayed with her Uncle Jeff and his wife Julie near Portland on a large piece of rural land where Jeff & Julie kept sheep to make wool. After that she went to St. George Utah to stay at her Uncle Bob and Aunt Cher's new house in St. George, Utah - and then after a few months moved back to Mesa to live at her parent's house. Sandra's parents and family were very supportive of her in her situation and mortgaged their house to pay for a lawyer.

Back in Mesa, despite her uneasiness, Sandra decided to let Eric see the children. Her worst fears were realized when he refused to return them to her care. During the following court proceedings Eric sought full custody of the children. In the end the court ruled that a joint custody arrangement would be appropriate, with Eric being the primary caretaker since the children had been living with him during the court proceedings.

When Sandra lost her children she felt like her life had ended. Her primary source of anxiety was her overwhelming fear for the safety of her children and her innability to protect them in any way. While she struggled to cope emotionally, her body also was reacting to the stress of the situation; in 1989 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She first underwent a lumpectomy but when the cancer returned soon thereafter, she decided to have the reccomended mastectomy. Then, against her family's wishes, she refused chemotherapy, and instead decided to eat a plant-based diet called the macrobiotic diet, which is known for it's nurturing and healing properties.

The summer of 1990 found Sandra camping out near Pine Arizona, escaping her family's dissaproval, and trying her best to stay alive by eating her diet. She could barely get up out of bed everyday because she was so exhausted. But still she walked all over the hills and into town even though she found it to be exhuasting. Meanwhile, her children had moved with their father to Roswell, New Mexico, and she could only see them if she could pay for their flight home. This was undoubtably the lowest point in her life.

But Sandra was someone who never gave up. In Pine Sandra made friends and her health improved. There she perfected her diet, which would keep her alive for 20 more years. Eventually, she moved back to Mesa and her kids returned from New Mexico.

In 1992, Sandra started back to school again at Scottsdale Community College, studying Spanish. She maintained a 4.0 GPA while undergoing further surgeries for her cancer. She worked in the disability office at SCC. In 1995 she graduated and went to Arizona State University, graduating in 1997 Suma Cum Laude with an honors degree and a B.A. in Spanish.

Meaningwhile Sandra's children continued to grow and attend school in the Mesa area. She was able to see her children when Eric allowed her to. In 1995 Eric decided to try to get full legal custody of his teenage children, but his efforts were undermined by all three, who still wanted contact with their mother. This made Eric very angry. As a result, Nathan was asked to leave home at age 18 and he moved in with his mother. In 1996 the court ruled that the Amos and Kristin could see either parent as they wished. Amos and Kristin moved in with Sandra where they lived until they married.

After graduating Sandra continued to work at the writing center at SCC as a Spanish/English language tutor. She also started renting her Grandma Owen's old house on Hobson from her sister Karen. This became the base for her little family that she had started to raise 15 years previously but now had nearly grown up. She would live happiply there for another 10 years. Nathan served a mission in 1996 to England, and Amos in 1998 to Virginia. Amos married first in 2001, and then Kristin in 2004. Nathan lived with Sandra for several years and helped her start a web design company, Sonora Web Design. Sandra started her company just in time for the dot-com bust of 2001 and Nathan would have to cover his ears or leave the house when when Sandra would "curse" at her computer as she tried to learn the latest technology. Eventually she figured things out and was able to run a successfull business. Later Nathan graduated from ASU, started working and in 2005 was married.

With all her children married and doing well, Sandra started to show noticable improvement. As her health improved, her sense of optimism started began to return. She still worried a lot about her children, but on the whole her children were doing well and things were very good. Considering all that her children had gone through, she considered herself very blessed.

In 2007 her son moved his family out of Phoenix and eventually to Southern Utah. Sandra followed and rented an apartment near them. While there she had lots of hobbies and planted a beautiful garden in her apartment complex. She made many friends in her new ward and loved it there.

In 2009 Uncle Jeff's wife Julie passed away and Sandra moved to Oregon so that Jeff had some family near by. While in Oregon Sandra was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Unlike the breast cancer, which responded to dietary changes, this aggressive cancer grew no matter what Sandra would eat. She went through surgery in February 2011 to remove the cancer and did not choose to do chemotherapy. Instead she choose to move back to Southern Utah to be near her son Nathan.

For the last 6 months of her life, Sandra completely focused her energy on spending time with her family and painting. She painted dozens of pictures. Two weeks into 2012 she started to not feel so well. For a week and a half the family stayed by her bedside, laughing, talking and remembering all the good times. On January 29, 2012 she passed away peacefully surrounded by her three children and eight grand children.

Letter from Her Mother

We found this letter in a Charles Dickens book that Sandra's mother had apparently given her for Christmas of 2001. At that time Shirley had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and was not expected to live much longer. She passed away a few months later in February of 2001.

To Sandy-
This is just to let you know how much I love you and how glad I am that your'e my daughter. You were such comfort to me when you were born because Daddy was gone and I was all alone. We had a whole year and a half alone together. I spent almost all my time just taking care of you. I was so glad I had you. I've always been so proud of you and you're drive to accomplish. Your biking to MCC was unreal. You have many talents and abilities to draw on. I hope things go very well for you and you have lots of happy years. You have been very blessed as far as your children and the unhappiness they were born into. Where they are today is amazing. You've all come a long way and the Eric nightmare is over except for the consequences. I hope those are small from now on. I hope your business goes well and you can stay home. If there's anything I can do from the other side you know I'll do it. With both me and Debbie there you've got a great support group. I hope you can always be happy and appreciate all your blessings. Many times I haven't. I wish I could have expressed my ove more but for some reason I locked it up so no one could hurt me. What a shame. It's wonderful to know I can let it all out at last and feel safe. Then I'll really be me. I wish I could have done it before but didn't realize I had done that. Just know I've always loved you and always will. I'll always be around checking on all of you until you're safe. It will be wonderful to see you again. There's lots of things I'd change but not marrying daddy and having all of you. I hope you'll keep contact with daddy. He won't know what to do with out me here bossing him around. He is the kindest sweetest person in the whole word. I'm grateful that some of that went into all you children. He's the best thing that ever happend to me. You Kids were the next.
I love you so much and hope you can feel that in my writing. You will always be in my thoughts. I can't wait for us to all be together again.
I love you -
Mommie