Dream

I overheard them at the breakfast table, 
"Do you ever dream you can fly?" 
"Yeah! I dream I'm an airplane and I take off � " 
"I mean, do you ever dream that you can just spread your arms and fly?" 
"Yeah, I do. But I have to push the stick forward first." 
"You pull the stick back to accelerate the engine." 
"It's forward in my dreams."

Kristin says she dreams she can float. 
So do I. 
Grandma Owens says she used to dream she could leap 
    from boulder to boulder across her pasture � 
    barely touching the outcroppings with her toes. 
She says she doesn't dream anymore. 
She's too tired. 

I believe I can fly. 
Bound now to earth � but only temporarily � 
One day Kristin and I will float to the mountains for a picnic. 
The boys will spread their arms and join us, 
And Grandma will entertain us all by pirouetting 
    weightlessly across the meadows. 
    

Letter to Kristin when she was 14 or 15

Dear Kristin:

That stupid little paper clip just came out and said, "I see you're writing a letter. Would you like some help?" I told it to go scribble for someone else and leave me alone, but maybe I should have instructed it to write this for me. Judging from the way it was winking at me, I think it might have had some interesting ideas. But I don't trust bald guys, and that clip's as bald as a ping pong ball and not near as much fun.

Well. One paragraph done. Now

No time to hunt for jokes, so I'm afraid this is going to have to be serious. So solly. How much time do you have to kill? How long should I write this? I'll write until I have to pick you up from church and then you're free to hunt for squirrels or mint plants. Yum! (Hint: smell it before you taste it. You know, it might be a fake! Not that I would be fooled!)

I think being a parent is a lot like climbing a cliff. I get there first and start climbing, and then you come along and I shout down to you which hand holds are best and warn you about loose rocks. Sometimes you think there's a better way -- and sometimes you're right. When that happens, I'm so proud I swell all up and shout to the people above, "Kristin found a better way, isn't that great, isn't she just so amazing? That's my daughter," and I forget all about the cliff and the rocks below and how tired I am and how much further do we have to go and I'm just happy. Other times you slip and there's not a thing I can do about it but yell directions down and pray you don't fall and I wonder what I've done wrong and I vow to be a better parent if we ever get out of this alive.

We're really not very different. I just came first. I don't have much trouble imagining you as a capable adult guiding someone else across the same chasms. You've had a lot of experience with rock climbing and you're going to make a great guide. You've developed some good skills to help you deal with hard times. I noticed the day before court when you cleaned the house, kept yourself busy and then chose Abbott and Costello to keep your mind off things. You didn't hide in your bedroom and get depressed and paranoid; you took control of a bad day and made the best of it. That's something a lot of people couldn't do.

You're even tempered, you have a sense of humor, you are beautiful, you are capable of doing all kinds of things, and the only person you have to convince that this is true is yourself. I hope this will be the year you recognize how terrific you are. Smile and act like you're the kind of person you want to be and it won't be long before you are. Act like everyone likes you, act like you look good, and everyone will like you and you will look good no matter what you're wearing. Play and practice the piano as though you're already a great pianist and you soon will be one.

Create the person you want to be in your head and then act like you're already that person.

That's what I'm going to shout down to you today. In a few weeks there might be a whole new set of boulders, or maybe some gravel that I'll want to direct you around, but for today,

I think you need to show [people the real Kristin - the Kristin you are now and the Kristin you want to be. I'm very proud of both of them.

And now it's time to end. Can you believe it took me an hour to write this? My gosh, what an amazing writer I am. Oh well, I would like to see that paper clip do any better. All it has done the whole time is sit up in the corner and wink at me.

Gotta go. Love ya,

(signed)

Mom